Muzzle Kiss?

When Brenda and I are alone she acts completely opposite from when anybody else is around (except for maybe Belisa). When it is just Brenda and I, she snuggles with me, kisses my lips and is playful. She is calm and content and self-assured. If I was single and lived alone in the woods things just might work out between us. That's the only type of life she would truly be content with.

As it is now, in my tiny 400-square-foot five-floor walk up in NYC shared with two other dogs (Porter and Sadie) and my fiance (Ben), life is far from the idyllic fantasy I assume exists in Brenda's mind.

She cannot be free around anybody except Porter, Sadie, myself and Belisa. When Ben is home or we have guests over Brenda is either in her crate (preferred) or if I'm feeling especially confident that I can manage the situation or she is crying to be let free, I will put a muzzle on her and watch her every move.

All was calm for about 10 minutes the last time this scenario played itself out. My friend Sarah and her dog Sophie, who is Sadie's best friend, were over for a playdate and Ben was also home. Brenda had been cooped up in the crate for far too long and, feeling, guilty, I let her out with a muzzle on.

She followed me around for a bit, sticking to my leg like a piece of velcro and every so often bumping into my flesh with the hard, plastic, wire muzzle. I decided to sit down on the floor in the living room where everywhere else was hanging out. Sarah and Ben were on the couch talking while the three other dogs rested on the floor after playing roughly.

Brenda stood next to where I was sitting and all of a sudden she got very stiff and stared at me. What happened next transpired so fast that I can't really believe it happened at all. Brenda got very agitated and snarled and ran her muzzle into my face. For the first time since I took Brenda into my home 14 months ago I felt as if she would have hurt me had she not been prevented by the muzzle.

I don't think she is inherently evil. I don't think she means to inflict harm. I don't feel as though she was even trained to be vicious. Her lot in life is more devastating than that. She has been so severely abused that she is a tortured soul and in some situations even I, the person who she feels most comfortable with, can't ease her pain.